| in a baffling attempt to be inclusive, the interpretation of an artist's entire body of work is reduced to their biography/trauma/disability or their cultural-social background/identity/heritage | one trick pony artist who repeatedly made the same work for the last 25 years for the sake of his collectibility | artist collective using no individual names because FOR SURE anonymity is how we get over the cult of personality and genius | video work boldly exhibiting a complete disregard of the viewer's time | Putting benches in a show with a total of six hours of video content? What a philistine idea! |
| "Video Games in Art" = Dwarf Fortress, Canabalt, a Porpentine-knockoff and maybe Cory Arcangel crammed into a room | the dreaded graffiti room - "Did you know you can spray paint other things than walls?" | "examination of taxonomies and power relations" = showcasing taxidermied animals to prove the artist really, REALLY "got" that first chapter of "The Order Of Things" | "deconstructs the imposing architectures of modern life and big capital" = slightly abstract drawings of high rise buildings | POC and LGBTQ+ artists only being invited to produce art about being POC and LGBTQ+. If they don't comply, their POCLGBTQ+ness will still make it both into the catalogue and the opening speech. |
| ex-student of a famous artist working in the exact same style/format to be recognizably of that lineage | show on the commercialization and sensationalization of art = Jeff Koons and YBA derivatives, a room curated by a collector or auction house, previous owners and prices of selected artworks on the wall to be edgy, 150 dollar catalogue | ART BULLSHIT BINGO (free square) | anti-capitalist show funded by a bank | indie project by hip young artists to "challenge the status quo" and "change the rules" either falling apart in front of your very eyes or being used as a platform to enter the market |
| edgy b/w drawings | one room dedicated to the collector who, in his unbelievable generosity, let the museum inherit/borrow/accept the donation of his symbolic capital investment/tax evasion scheme | "a sometimes shocking and disarming approach deeply examining the interrelations of intersectional feminism" = gender essentialist stuff about periods, sex toys, and naked elderly women, some maybe WOC | "an investigative approach to problematic art/artists" basically being the left cannibalizing itself while leaving the moneymaking big names untouched or gracing them with "critical" solo exhibitions | "multi-layered approach" = double exposure photographs |
| "intertextual meta-narratives problematizing a disembodied subjectivity..."-waffling | impostor syndrome artist in a PhD programme, pushing the envelope by having longer texts next to their artworks | "celebrating diversity" - audience 95% white, 5% waitstaff | white cube architecture | "insights into the 21st centuries' sexual psyche" = photographs of Berliners fucking while taking selfies |