| Craiky-Dingo | Awkward pause or mouth organ? | I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | Best damn nite of my life. | Grow a pair of testicles |
| What time is it Geoffrey Peterson? | CBS cares | One is a ____ and the other is a ____. | Ooh-la-la | It's a great day for America everybody |
| What's-a-come-ana-go. | TARDIS | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | Do tell. | I know! |
| Do we have a picture of ____? | Lesbian row | I look forward to your letters. | Remind you of anyone? | Never saw that coming! |
| In your pants | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Balls | Sex party! | Do we have a picture of Paul McCartney? |