| Grow a pair of testicles | Ooh-la-la | TARDIS | In your pants | Sex robot |
| I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | Take that ____? | I look forward to your letters. | Kangaroo testicles | Balls |
| Do we have a picture of ____? | One is a ____ and the other is a ____. | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | Whose that at the door? | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. |
| It's a great day for America everybody | Never saw that coming! | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Oprah | For reals? |
| I know! | You too laides. | Best damn nite of my life. | Lesbian row | Me-ow! |