| I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | What's-a-come-ana-go. | For reals? | Sex robot | Remind you of anyone? |
| I look forward to your letters. | Ooh-la-la | TARDIS | Best damn nite of my life. | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. |
| Do we have a picture of ____? | Oprah | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | It's a great day for America everybody | You too laides. |
| Sex party! | What do you think, Geoffrey Peterson? | CBS cares | Balls | Grow a pair of testicles |
| What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Me-ow! | In your pants | Wikipedia | Whose that at the door? |