| In your pants | What do you think, Geoffrey Peterson? | Remind you of anyone? | Do tell. | It's a great day for America everybody |
| CBS cares | TARDIS | Kangaroo testicles | Awkward pause or mouth organ? | I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson |
| Balls | One is a ____ and the other is a ____. | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. | Grow a pair of testicles |
| Me-ow! | Do we have a picture of Paul McCartney? | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Best damn nite of my life. | Craiky-Dingo |
| Lesbian row | What time is it Geoffrey Peterson? | Never saw that coming! | Ooh-la-la | Take that ____? |